For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead.

Psalm‬ ‭143‬:‭3

Disaster, heartache and pain can turn us toward or away from God. Depending on my perspective, the woes of life can draw me back to the light of the truth or give me an excuse to continue down a dark path.

Addiction is my enemy, and it’s good to remember.

When I was consumed by it, it was only satisfied when I could not be. When I was pursuing satisfaction at every turn in the wrong direction and looking to fill myself with anything that would give me relief I was in bondage.

It’s easy to identify the pain when we are drinking. But the commonality addicts have is in the persistent pursuit of finding a way to manage our addiction rather than conceding that it controls us.

If I go into the ring against addiction, I am going down.

Despite my best intentions, every new day that I tried to control and enjoy it brought me back to my knees.

There’s nothing weak about it. It’s the simple gravity of addiction. And despite our misgivings, the only way to conquer this enemy is by surrendering.

But here’s the thing—we aren’t surrendering to it. We are surrendering to God, to the greater good, to a life we may not get to live if we don’t do something different.

We surrender because we see the futility of fighting an enemy that is undefeated and undeniable.

In this battle, the victor will walk away. It’s the only way out.

God, help me walk away from the fight.