If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭8

We are reminded constantly in recovery to live one day at a time. One moment at a time. To be present.

Yet, so much of our thought life is wrapped up in needless worry brought about by remorse, regret, morbid reflection and our tendency to want what we do not have.

Ignoring the realities and simplicities of wise counsel, we look for shortcuts and hacks. What if we could life two days at a time? What if we could take a break from all the self-care? Do we have to do this stuff all the time? Sober living is a bit of a drag sometimes.

Two days at a time. Come on!

Add this to the list of impractical desires that once attained wouldn’t actually do me any good. But it’s the desire that derails me.

I’ll do anything to keep from looking at truth, to keep from doing the hard work of cleaning up the past and living healthily in the present.

It’s telling that these thoughts are so attractive to me. Like brain teasers that would be satisfying to crack. I want a special way around the grunt work of recovery.

Thing is, though—much of life is grunt work. The good stuff always is.

Love. Kids. Vocation. Devotion. Craft. Training. Practice. Sports.

Show me something excellent that doesn’t require the long tedium of showing up and iteratively improving over time.

I’m not really interested in the results of mediocrity so why do I slip into its vice-grip so easily?

God save me from my uninspired desires.