I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the Lord, who does all these things.

Isaiah‬ ‭45‬:‭7

Did God make me an alcoholic? An addict? Did God create addiction?

And now I’m supposed to turn my life over to him? Didn’t he put in motion the very problem I’m trying to get away from?

You can see the issue. You can see what many people will butt up against when they get to the rooms of recovery.

For some, God is a good idea and nothing more. For others he is an antagonist, an anarchist

Addiction, though, unlike other minor afflictions, has the unique characteristic of driving us to the brink of insanity such that we are willing to accept help in any form. Even when we don’t believe it will work.

Truly, taking action in recovery when we don’t believe it is our first meager act of faith.

This is a big enough building block for our belief or non-belief to handle.

We may not be able to throw ourselves with abandon into the care of a God that we so far misunderstand, but with baby steps that Bill Murray would be proud of, we can start walking toward God.

It’s okay to stop descending before we begin believing. Willingness saves lives.

God, give me the willingness I need to walk toward you today.