For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭6

“We must be rid of this selfishness…or it kills us.” -The Big Book

If there’s any lingering doubt of the power of the mind to kill, spend time with a bitter person.

Not the petty grumbling person, but the deeply bruised and sour-souled person who cannot help but poison conversation and circumstance with the slow rotting of negativity, self-pity and disdain.

There is an inward focus to all such people that has developed over time into a protective fortress. Every bit of gossip and crudeness nearby emboldens them and with each injustice they witness, their affront to life is seemingly proven.

I tried this out for a while.

There’s an appeal to it on the front end not dissimilar to cussing. It feels good to look down.

It’s comforting to chalk things up to unfairness and to develop a persona that is both outwardly pessimistic and inwardly warm.

But it’s an empty pursuit. It was just another way to insulate myself from, among other things, building and growing true relationships and friendships.

The most telling fault is also the one so easily overlooked when I was chasing this self-centered, narcissistic way of sober living: it’s just not peaceful.

We aren’t promised the lack of conflict, but as we try to live in His rather than ours, there is life and peace to be found despite the circumstances.

God, help me leave me behind.