But he would withdraw to desolate places to pray.

Luke 5:16

The last days of my drinking were certainly desolate places. But they were desolate because of their vacancy. I was in full pursuit of that which I knew was in vain, and I was seemingly without choice in the matter.

Despite my prayers—fleeting though they were—I spiraled downward until something broke my fall.

We need to be interrupted.

Moments of clarity that cause action, that begin change. For me, that realization sank deeper in my core on one morning than ever before.

Just as much as I knew in my heart that I was screwed if I continued, I also knew I was ill-equipped not to continue. I needed help, much as it pained me to admit.

And thank God the desire for help was this time extended long enough for me to actually go and make the request.

That day put into motion the past 21 years of recovery and slow forward progress.

Today’s desolate places are sometimes as acute even as drinking is no longer an issue. We still live with ourselves, and I’m still prone to wander.

Now, though, they do not haunt me—I can at times imitate Jesus by embracing them, retreating from the world for moments to embrace the solitude, and re-orient towards Him.

God, pull me away from the busyness; reenergize me.