Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭24‬

Nothing gives away my ingrained selfishness like the struggle between what you and I want. When coming face to face with conflict, it doesn’t matter how trivial it may be, it can burrow into my very core.

I am still driven, regrettably, by my own desires. They are exposed when they run contrary to the will of someone else.

And this can be in the most innocent of circumstances. All that is necessary is for you to want one thing and me to want another.

Even in a world where both things can coexist, I can run my serenity aground and pout just because you don’t see things my way.

Am I not really intent on seeking my own will, my own good, most of the time? And what good does it accomplish? Whom am I serving but myself? And to what end?

Do I experience perpetual satisfaction and joy? No. I simply get my way. Like a child.

And I’m in fact unfulfilled, less satisfied and because of my spat, alone.

Seeking the good of others is of course more than merely bending my will in times of conflict. It’s more than letting others have their way.

It is a posture of daily living. A cadence that grows deeper and more meaningful as I exercise it. It is the proper combination of thoughtful action with purposeful compromise.

And I’m a lot better at theorizing it than practicing it.

I desire for this to be a natural extension of myself. I want to genuinely put others ahead of myself. Tension comes when I worry about losing myself.

Isn’t that part of the point, though? Am I not supposed to come to the end of myself? Wasn’t myself the problem to begin with?

This is a never-ending circle of progress. The best I can hope for is progress as I aspire to perfection.

That’s good enough for me.

God, grant me progress but focus me on your perfection.