Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭25

How many times have I turned my back on good words?

I had plenty growing up. At some point, it became my choice to simply tune them out. Why do we do this? Is it inevitable to a point?

Yeah, we need to find our own way, try the world on for size…all that. But not everyone goes to the extremes that we do.

I had the benefit of having a lot of wise voices nearby during the course of the beginnings of my addiction too. It was an active choice to mute them and do my own thing.

That proved costly.

To the extent that I walked away and bucked up in opposition to the voices that merely wanted to love and guide me was I damning myself in exchange for fleeting trivialities.

True: I had fun for a while. My late teenage experience provided some joys and friends and laughter and games.

But at a price I would not have paid had I truly known.

The lie we believe is that the fun will never end. That it’s renewable at length—that we can always remanufacture it. That we are intended for fun. That we are owed something.

This is the reversal that upended me from the inside out. I latched on to the sour perspective of being owed something—anything.

But I had things reversed. I’m not owed anything. And more importantly, the fun and joy that I sought was unsustainable on its own.

It was the kindling; I sought the fire.

The good words of wise men and women have since infiltrated my sullen disposition and led me out of the dark forest I used to think I liked.

God, fill me with your good word—give me ears to hear it.