At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.

Titus 3:3

It’s not a far stretch to look back on our past selves and find unpleasant choices and feelings.

Love of ourselves and those around us was not evident much of the time. The tedious work of self-realization gathered in us a storm that raged through our addiction.

In the cloudy sobriety that we now find ourselves, echoes of our past still steer us. We don’t want to be rigid, but we tiptoe through the days with an uncertainty of our purpose.

But thanks be to God who will lead us anyway. Who has led us this far. Who will use us in spite of ourselves.

We have not gotten sober to dwell on past misdeeds and thereby rob the future of our experience. Yes, we are recovering from malice and envy in equal portion to drugs and alcohol. And these must be set aside daily as well.

In starting our day, let us put these tools of misfortune down. There are more important things to dwell on now.

As we let God guide us moment by moment in the present, we learn how to love. And we even learn to love ourselves.

God, take my past and take my fury. Show me the peaceful way forward.