Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭14‬:‭20

I often prided myself on my ability to deceive, to sneak, to get away with things.

Joke was on me, though. The true deceit was against myself. And once I rounded the corner to sobriety and the faith that had raised me, I began to see the truth.

But none of it—the descent nor the climb to grace—happened quickly. It was a slow slide into progressively worse perspective. And it has continued to be a piecemeal, daily gift of redirection.

Would that I were as stupid as my actions would suggest. But no, I like most of us, am fairly intelligent with regard to many things. And I fall into the trap of thinking my intellect can save me.

No. I needed a complete rearrangement of my thought life. And I still need regular resetting.

I must become as malleable as an infant. My spiritual well being depends on it and my recovery draws life from it.

But this is only the beginning. I cannot remain an infant in all things. I’d be stupid to do this.

One of AA’s slogans is apt advice here: “Think, Think, Think”.

We must become like children concerning our addictions and our selfishness. Often scolded and brought to confession.

And we must sharpen the mind in the process. Not settling for the mediocrity of modern thinking, we fill our minds with things of worth and substance and value.

Recovery is not an abandonment of our intellect. It is an invitation to begin using our brains.

God help me let go of my own best thinking.