I am your servant; give me understanding, that I may know your testimonies!

Psalm‬ ‭119‬:‭125

I’ve got an entitlement problem. At the very least it’s an issue—you tell me if it’s problematic or not.

My only hope is that in reading some of the psalms it seems like David had some similar qualms.

Clarity’s the issue. I want it. Give me clear cut directions. I need orders from above me in the chain of command. I’ll lead where I need to, but ultimately, I want assurance that I’m not driving completely blind.

In the beginning of sobriety, this is one of the easy things. Or at least straightforward. We were screwed up. We needed to sober up. Cut and dry. That is all.

…or so I thought.

See, that was merely the entry point to a new way of life—something the atheist will even agree with. I had to find a way to live differently.

But as sober time adds up, avenues appear on the horizon that are rapidly approaching. Choices must be made. Paths walked down. Life, it appears, hasn’t slowed down simply because we are readjusting to it.

Before long, I’m confronted by many equally good choices and a handful of bad ones.

The longer I stay sober and spiritually fit, the saner I respond to the bad choices. But despite my rekindled walk with God, the remaining good choices have me paralyzed with indecision.

Here, I just double down on the hope I’ve accumulated and exercise the faith I’ve been building.

The choice I may need to make is simply making a prayerful choice. I’ll know when I’ve done it when I start walking forward.

God please help me make uncertain choices.