Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭17

I didn’t doubt the honesty of many of the members of AA when I first showed up. Some were dubious, but there were plenty who were clear-eyed, sincere and very obviously happy to be there.

It wasn’t doubt that held me back once I opened my own eyes. It was desire—but not to drink or rebel. It was the cloaked desire to make my own way.

To not concede that freedom may take many forms, but it comes inevitably from outside myself.

Perhaps it was partially due to the immaturity of my age. True, I arrived in recovery at a young age.

But I have seen countless others since then with plenty more of both years and intelligence bucking up against the very basic principles by which we now live.

To simply fall in line is the straightest, fastest path to recovery. But it’s the least sought after and the most boring consideration.

This tendency to want to be unique isn’t just a throttle on my recovery, it is a threat.

The temptation of returning to our addiction is never closer than when we walk alone through dangerous territory.

Not that we seek it out. We don’t have to.

Time and again the utter insanity of wanting to control and enjoy our drinking returns and snipes us from our perilous perch overlooking sobriety when we out to have been immersed in the sober world.

Grace is free, but freedom is often a choice to start working.

God, keep me willing to do the work.