Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm‬ ‭51‬:‭10

This is what I need—renewal. And God wants to provide this for us. He desires new beginnings for those who have gone their own way.

Following our hearts is treacherous business. Mine certainly got me in a heap of trouble. I didn’t consider my heart to be corrupt when I began drinking, but it was certainly damaged by the time I stopped.

The issue is one of tuning. Left to my own, I drift. Not much, but I start to get out of tune with God’s will for me. I start to not care quite as much about Him and other people.

I’m not badly out of tune. It’s hard to notice if you aren’t listening for it.

But then, I start hanging with people who are also out of tune. And I actually sound really good compared to them. Over time, though, I begin to detune myself to sound more like everyone else.

Addiction is progressive. As I begin to journey down its path, I eventually put the instrument of my heart down altogether. I become uninterested in the very things I was hardwired to do.

And so we arrive back in His arms when we’ve lost heart and hope.

We don’t want to go on. We can’t imagine going back to Him, either.

But there’s good news—he is used to this. We aren’t the first little people to crawl back, broken. He will create a new heart and spirit for us. He will give us a new song. And He will make us an instrument for His orchestra again.

God, help me tune my heart daily.