If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have been guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.

John‬ ‭15‬:‭22

“If you want to get sober, you’ll find a way; otherwise, you’ll find an excuse.”

A friend of mine used to say that whenever a newcomer would visit AA.

I thought it was a bit over the top sometimes. But it’s true.

Recovery is for the desperate, and it wasn’t until I was almost void of hope that I began to become teachable.

Nothing about recovery is unapproachable in terms of its complexity. The difficulty lies in its specificity and simplicity.

I did not want to be told what to do. But this is exactly what I needed and furthermore exactly what recovery literature and sponsorship is designed to do.

What’s more, the step-work is quite simple. One might argue that it’s broken into more steps than need be.

But that is by design.

We need to be given piecemeal the things that we are to do next. It allows for actual completion, actual progress, actual recovery.

The 12 steps are a far cry from being complicated, but they are difficult to actually walk through and do one by one.

This is because they challenge the direction, focus and outcome of my entire way of life. I may have realized that things were askew, but now I’m confronted with taking action in response to that supposition that puts my selfishness in the crosshairs.

This is uncomfortable even when I know it’s well intentioned.

But to drink is to die.

So, what’ll it be? Another excuse, or will I find a way through?

God, kill my excuses.