You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3

The excitement of addiction and the thrills our past life run dry when we hit the wall of sobriety.

When we are not fully committed to our newfound life this is a burden we’d rather get away from quickly.

Even once we have resolved to stick around, we often wonder what we will do in the times of boredom that are surely ahead.

I’ve seen the same confusion and disgust from my children when they’re greeted with the news that they won’t be entertained 24/7, and that furthermore, this is quite ok.

Addiction supercharges this desire for stimulation and couples to it a sometimes-fatal entitlement.

We are able to see the peace that others carry in moments of lucidity, but they never have a chance of breaking through the bonds of self-centered needfulness that we live by.

The unfortunate truth is that this state doesn’t go away when we sober up. In a sense it is magnified merely from the raw emotions that we are able to feel after taking away our numbing agent.

The hope we have lies in the trust we sometimes first put in the experience of others. It’s easier to believe in someone who has just come out of the fog than in the great mysteries of the faith.

These will come if we can get over ourselves enough to start following directions and seeking God.

The action is the juice. The leaning forward is the important part. The confession of our reliance on ourselves is what breaks ground on the faith we must return to.

The submission to God, a God who does actually love and care for us, is what will redeem our past and steer our future.

God, take the good, the bad and the broken parts of me.