Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭19

Oh, what a tangled web we weave…

I certainly don’t remember when I began to default to deceit.

But it happened. At some point early. So, I actually believe it pre-dated my decent into addiction.

The habit of bending the truth, of skirting reality, of inserting my own desire into each day was something I began to learn in my teens.

Is it the slickest slope? Probably. So many things and attitudes coalesce into a spirit of deceit. Angst, bitterness, humor, sarcasm…all dangerous to wield unguided. And all leading inward toward a self-serving world view operating on the currency of the approval of others.

Lies come easily when practiced. And it doesn’t take much effort to begin the practice.

By the time I started drinking I was prepped with enough self-serving and self-sabotaging deceit that continuing felt like a game.

The relief that came in recovery was almost a secondary wave.

I was overjoyed to be physically free of addiction. But then this business of living in the light, speaking truth and being a part of a community where the truth was valued above all else became another layer of freedom.

Not to mention how easily the recovery community can sniff out BS. We are so versed in self-deception that it simply doesn’t go far when newcomers try and live the same in recovery as in the drunk world.

In this, community is incredibly valuable. It’s a lifeline for the recovering addict. Alone, the deceit we are comfortable with can resurface as a self-protecting tool. But as I stay in the center of recovery, I find that it’s no longer needed.

God, help me put down the deception that almost killed me.