he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

Titus‬ ‭3‬:‭5

Looking back on the tumultuous path to sobriety and on the near misses that could have derailed me on numerous occasions, I’d be a fool if I didn’t throw my hands up in wonder at the fullness of the life I enjoy today.

People die in addiction every day.

Some don’t even get a chance to straighten up. Some circumstances are bitter and thin and without hope. And to think that I’ve had the gall to whine about my own gentle path in and through addiction.

I would go insane trying to figure out why one person dies when another lives. Why my meager consequences were enough to cause me to change when others continue to spiral downward

I don’t know why heart change happens quickly for some and slowly for others. And I don’t know why some who seem to want to change never experience the ease and comfort of sobriety.

I know that what I have is a gift. That grace is free. That healing comes during the willing march toward the solution. That pain is often the price of admission. That the work has been done in me and is being worked out, even now, through me.

I want to remain a willing vessel and a helping hand. I am just a man. I am just a cog in the divine histories. I want to remain grateful.

God, thank you for the freedom I can experience with a clean mind and a clear heart.