The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭1‬:‭15‬

If you’re like me you have a real problem with thinking your issues are worse than other peoples’.

That you’re somehow exceptional—and not in a good way.

I’ve got this curious quirk that on a good day will have me looking around, chest puffed out and critical of everything I see that is contrary to everything I believe. But then on a bad day, the equally distressing line of thinking is that I’m completely hopeless, I can’t pull myself together and I’m just never going to figure out the right way to go about things.

Everyone has it figured out and I’ve gotten left at the train station somehow.

Addiction amplifies a lot of these thoughts. Recovery seeks to equalize the playing field.

But at the end of the day, pick your favorite sin and we are all in the same boat of humanity. The earthly, relational consequences are more dire for some things than others. But, we all need more than we have to offer.

In fact, we don’t have anything we can offer. The best we can do is to give up.

This paradoxical first step towards God is like dying. Primarily because that’s exactly what it is. But it’s also exactly why He did the same thing for us.

God, I don’t know what you see in me, but thank you.