When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

Psalm‬ ‭56‬:‭3

Now what? Giving up the social lubricant that I cherished for many reasons presents clear issues with this one problem. What do we do now that we are sober?

Are the fun days done? Are we to be resigned to boredom and enviously looking out at the carefree lives of others?

Certainly there is a period of adjustment. Time takes time. Being ok is a process. Rearranging the ideas I had about fun and the barriers to entry didn’t happen overnight.

But the fears of not having fun anymore were baseless. Yes, I went through the awkward adolescence of my sobriety with reluctance. I put myself in social situations that were uncomfortable in order to relearn how to live without the numbing aid of substances.

The degree to which I relied on drinking simply for social acceptance was shocking. And of course it backfired since I did consistently use more than I should have.

Boredom too is not to be shunned. Just as I know my children now need to go through boredom of their own to not constantly need to be stimulated and to work out their own interests in free time, so too we need to go through it in forming our sober habits and life rhythms.

And the idea that without alcohol we can’t have fun is simply ignorant. We haven’t tried. We are not truly worried that it’s impossible. We are simply afraid of walking through life without a crutch.

Afraid of experiencing the negative emotions around social situations without the buffer of alcohol.

Here too, we can learn to grow toward our new ideal one day at a time. We aren’t going to be thrust into the spotlight on day one for all to behold. We ought not hide in the shadows too long either.

Meetings are extremely helpful in setting the precedent for fellowship with others. Especially for the more introverted folks. Not to mention that the friends we will make there can actively speak into our fears and uncertainties from their experiences.

We aren’t alone and we don’t have to act like it.

God, remove the fear of the future and help me lean into the joy of the moment.