Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

Everyone loves a little apathy, right? It feels good to snuggle up with enough disdain to take the edge off. Better to look down on everything around us than look in and have to fool with the effort of self-reflection.

Yeah, apathy can carry me quite a ways, and it sneaks up on me easily and often.

The trouble is, it’s a hop, skip and a jump away from worry, remorse, self-pity and the resentment that sprouts from bitterness.

Apathy would be great if I could control it.

It would be a great tool of honest reflection if I didn’t dwell on and stay drilled into its hyper-focused ambiguity.

It feels good because it gives me an excuse to stay put, and enough arrogance to judge others.

I rarely pass an opportunity to cash in on some judgement.

When we sober up, we often receive apathy in lethal doses. Out of the stupor of addiction, we arrive broken and barely coherent. And yet the first things that return are our opinions and judgements.

Focus will help us. Misdirection will combat the emotional and spiritual battlefield we find ourselves traversing.

We must focus our thoughts on others if we want to be free. We must attune our thoughts to God if we expect relief.

Apathy feels normal because we may not yet know how to delight in things worthy to be praised.

Don’t settle for a cheap substitute.

God, help me leave my angst and walk with you in peace.