So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭31‬

I’m a pretty big distraction for being such a petty, small being. I’ve got the remarkable tendency to blot out even the idea of things greater than myself. And I’ll do it on a whim. In a moment. With a fleeting thought.

I’ve done it a handful of times this morning already.

Example:

“The earth is the Lords and the fullness therein.” (Psalm 24:1)

Thought process:

“Hmm Interstellar was such an epic movie.”

Example:

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am.” (Psalm 39:4)

Thought process:

“I should really do a better job scheduling out my day.”

It’s not that I don’t believe the words I’m reading. Rather, I’m so conditioned to digest them quickly that I don’t often allow them to fertilize the thoughts of my day.

I become an agent of dismissal as I say a quick prayer and go about the rest of my day.

This is where some of the routines of recovery have helped inform the truths of my faith. The daily prayer for provision, for sobriety and for wisdom has kept my frailty at the forefront.

The task of carrying on the message of hope has kept my ego at bay.

The exercise of gratitude has stepped my depression back from the ledge.

The meetings, readily available, have medicated my initial loneliness and continue to bind together friendships.

But I’m still a work in progress. My mind still drifts at the dumbest times. I still struggle to get myself out of my way. I still need God’s help daily.

God, get me out of the way. Use force if necessary.